Manuka Bear lived in a cottage in an enchanted forest. She was very happy and content, except for when Goblin, who lived next door, would play extremely loud techno music and head-bang violently for hours on end. Manuka Bear much preferred peace and quiet, you see.
One morning, Manuka Bear was in her kitchen, filling jars with honey, when Rat came to visit. In his paw, Rat proudly waved what appeared to be a small kidney-shaped nut.
“Look!” squeaked Rat, “I found a cashew. If I hold it up to my ear, it looks like I’m talking on a telephone.”
Manuka Bear was impressed. “That’s lovely,” she said. “Where did you find that cashew?”
Rat opened his mouth, but before he could reply, the kitchen door was kicked open, and in burst Goblin, toting a very large boom box. With the push of a button, a cacophony of distorted techno music thundered out of the speakers at an ear-splitting, earth-shattering, LIFE-CHANGING volume. Manuka Bear and Rat covered their ears and stared at Goblin in shock. Goblin paid no attention. He climbed onto the kitchen table and began head-banging wildly to the music, mouth open, tongue hanging out.
What happened next was sheer chaos. The music grew so loud, all the dishes came rattling out of the cupboards and crashed to the floor. Paintings tumbled off the walls, rugs on the floor writhed in agony, water pipes groaned and burst. A web of cracks formed at the base of a wall and climbed upward until the kitchen ceiling went weak and collapsed with an awful crash. The music was so loud, the cottage shook like an earthquake, unable to endure any more. Goblin, totally into it, grabbed a broom and pretended to wield it like a guitar. Throwing his head back, he shrieked like a devil, “BACON AND EGGSSSSSS, BABY!!!!!!!!!!”